South Carolina Tries to Set Up Giant Curse Jar

The South Carolina Senate is working on something called Bill 56, which would earn you up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine for the following:

It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

It is unlawful for a person to disseminate profanity to a minor if he wilfully and knowingly publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available material containing words, language, or actions of profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

First, willfully has four Ls in it. Second, who's the judge of "lewd, lascivious, or indecent"? Would "The Higher Power of Lucky" get teachers arrested because it contains the word "scrotum"? What about "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian," which was banned by a school in Oregon for being filthy (it won a National Book Award, so obviously not everyone shares this view).

There are fart jokes in Chaucer and Shakespeare. High school readers across South Carolina might rejoice to see those texts banned.

FUCS might need to distribute literature in South Carolina. If swearing gets outlawed there, they'll need some substitutes.